|Life changing realization.
||[Oct. 11th, 2005|07:49 pm]
I'm pretty much legit
|[||Tags|||||fuck tags. i hate em.||]|
|[||My zippa zob
|||||I don't fucking know.||]|
|[||My phat beats
|||||Slava - Voyage Eternal||]|
Talking to Jiff, and other recent events have made me realize a few things.
I am beginning to see where others go wrong, and what can put people in the hole of life that they can't ever seem to get out of. I am starting to realize what it truly means to grow up and to adapt the priorities and life style that is needed to succeed and do well in life.
I am beginning to see what it is that simply needs to fade from being a kid, and I am now seeing what it is needed of me to grow up into a strong adult with a successful future.
Everyone does things they don't need to, and there are some people who just do so many pointless things, or have something that they just can't let go of because of the fact that it makes them happy, even when they know it's bad.
Over the course of the past year or so, I have noticed myself being deeply hindered by a variety of things that I simply do not need. I noticed myself caring too much about gaming, and starting to lack in my other obligations and priorities. I cared too much about building up a nice computer, and forgot about other essential things like driving.
I let myself get behind in life, and I have allowed it to go on for way too long.
As I continue to grow, I adapt and form myself more and more to the adult life style that I need to have. As it stands right now, I have love in my life, I have a source of income, and I am working towards my future in hopes of obtaining a successful and well paying job. I am going to High School, and doing classes at PCC. I am moving forward, and working towards the place I need to be. But in addition to that, I am doing a bunch of other pointless shit. I am doing dumb shit with drugs, i'm doing dumb shit with gaming, and i'm doing shit by letting myself fall too deeply into those ever so un needed, worthless activities.
All that I do by letting myself get into useless activities is create more stress in my life. And when I get too much stress in my life, I stree about other things in my life, and then I stress about the impact on everything else that my stress is going to have. I fucking hate it.
But I'm done with that fucking dumbass shit.
Fuck that shit.
I am soooo unbelievably done with competitive gaming and any other sort of extra-effort drug activities that I may have been involved with before in my life. Some people might be able to maintain a job, school, gaming, and a loving girlfriend, but I can't. I simply can't. I try and try, but I can't. And it's not even worth trying, because it's not needed. My life is always so much better when I don't have it, and when I have less to stress about, I am always SUCH a nicer and more happy person. I get mean and rude when i'm stressed, or I just don't talk to anyone.
But why? Why do that to myself? Sounds pretty pointless to me. Yup, sure does. So hey, fuck that. I don't care if you're able to do what I just said I can't. It doesn't apply to me. It isn't me.
So good bye to gaming, and good bye to anything else that creates un needed stressed. I no longer approve.
I forsee a much brighter future for me.
I realize i've said similar things in the past, but that's simply been from just being angry and upset at myself in terms of my progress in Warcraft 3. This is far beyond that, so don't even fucking trying to tell me that is just some big rant with no actual meaning, as I realize my others pretty much have been.